Questions you're forced to ask yourself when you live in a house:
1. How long is one allowed to wait before shoveling a few inches of snow? Is "after one more Bloody Mary and an episode of Game of Thrones" too long?
2. What is the proper response when someone knocks on the door to mention the sidewalk needs more salt? Is punching allowed?
3. If I sit here silently for another few minutes, will the guy with the clipboard and the Clean Water Action stickers stop knocking and go away?
4. Do I trust my strange neighbor enough to sign for a UPS package? What are the odds a wedding gift will be stolen right off my doorstep anyway?
5. On a scale of 1 to 10, how unsafe is it to leave a key under my doormat when my out-of-town friend arrives in the middle of a workday?
Your internal monologue when you live in a building with a doorperson:
1. If my sister-in-law crashes on our couch for a few weeks, will the doorman assume my husband and I are doing some kind of polyamory thing?
2. How many times can I get away with ordering from Grub Hub in one week before people start to talk?
3. Will someone from the residents' association come around to collect holiday tips? Do I just put cash in an envelope? In separate envelopes? What about the maintenance staff?
4. How many trips will he let me take back and forth with an overloaded bellmans cart before I'm forced to schedule the freight elevator?
5. Yes, I am going out wearing this. No, I won't be coming home before happy hour. No judgement!