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One Thing We Know: Ask Philadelphians and They Will Answer

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Poor Bevatron. All the poor redditor wanted was to put an FAQ together about Philadelphia neighborhoods. The instructions were clear: Describe your neighborhood in one to two sentences. There were some cogent, earnest replies from fellow redditors, but there was also a healthy portion of classic Philly-style self-deprecation. Here's a sampling of the neighborhood descriptions she got from others on r/philadelphia:

South Philly - "Fuck outta here. Nobody pays a deductible, just add it to the estimate. Also, Cheese steaks and water ice. Finally, I'm not moving my car after 5 o clock."

West Mount Airy - "Lots of trees, lots of hills, huge houses for those who can't quite make it into Chestnut Hill, but it's okay because we don't want to live with those yuppie bastards anyway."

Holmesburg - "A Northeast Philadelphia neighborhood that houses several large litter-strewn sections of Pennypack Park. Devoid of decent restaurants and shops. Also home to the Holmesburg Prison, which was the site of a controversial decades-long dermatological, pharmaceutical, and biochemical weapons research project involving testing on inmates. Seriously, don't come here."

West Philly - "Don't go west of 43rd Street."

Mantua - "crime and drunk white kids."

Newbold/Pointbreeze - "Don't call it a comeback; We've been here for years. (Well..kinda)"

Can you see what she was up against? Her replies ranged from, "There are three 'descriptions' of this area and not one of them actually provides any useful information" to "Not trying to be difficult... Like I said, this is for the FAQ." Poor thing.

Still Working on the FAQ - Please Describe Your Neighborhood in 1-2 Sentences [r/philadelphia]