We're sorry. We don't want to traumatize you by having you relive the past. But you can turn your dross into gold when we devote a full week to first-time home buyers later this month. If you're still waking up sweaty in the middle of the night remembering your first time, send a write-up to our tipline and we'll post the story (anonymously) on our site. Readers will vote for the write-up that tells the most horrifying first-time home-buying experience, and the winner will go up against the winners from all the other Curbed cities. The winner of that contest gets a $2,500 gift card to the home store of their choice. (Standard contest rules apply.) We think you, as Philadelphians, understand what this means: As the latest Curbed site on the block, we must now prove our competitive bona fides—and this contest includes Detroit, so get typing. Santa and a snowball, indeed.