Eustace W. Mita is Rick Santorum's finance chairman. He's also a Philly-based real estate entrepreneur who's the guiding force behind Achristavest, a waterfront development company. Unless Santorum wins the nomination, Mita will probably be returning to our area. Will Mita's political work change his approach to real estate? We hope not, because his company has some of the most gratifying Brokerbabble we've ever seen. In fact, it's beyond Brokerbabble. It's Brokerpoetry. Brokeralliteration. Brokerneology. We had to give you some highlights from a description of a Longport, NJ, home (above) that the company named Pelham Port.
A Putsch of a Piece de Resistance ...
"Achristavest has done it once again: created a coup of a tour de force on the Jersey shore. Sweet as salt water taffy, this Longport real estate is ... where sea breezes and peace abound."
We Must Use New Words to Describe Her
"Port Pelham is already a crown jewel of the Jersey Shore. Achristavest has mystically mixed art and architecture, resulting in the company's signature art-itecture that's the essence of the finesse..."
Say This Five Times Fast
"The swimming pool deck's shining accent is a stainless steel summer kitchen built for efficiency and ease of entertainment."
On One Side, the Sea. On the Other, the Rinse Cycle
"Those who enter are embraced by the inner glow of the home. The barrel ceiling hall to the left of the family room exudes the nautical sense of being within a cabin cruiser or a yacht built for smooth sailing, and the easy-to-access laundry rooms ensure that guests are greeted with convenience and ease of daily life at Port Pelham."
But No Pressure
"This prime Pelham property includes ... a kudos-inducing kitchen in which to whip up gourmet delights and delicious dishes straight from the sea. Martha Stewart would be quite at home in this kitchen."
"...all of [the features] paint a different stroke in the creation Achristavest CEO Eustace Mita refers to as 'historic seaside.'"
A Short Poem From Two Paragraphs, No Words Added
refresh and impress
invest in de-stressing
respite from the
grind of the nine-to-five
family and friend time
Memories of time
Port Pelham's treasure
day after day
week after week
year after year
purity and privacy
find the gateway to a get-away
a lifetime of memories
a safe place in which to land
dock work-world worries
sail away into a haven
cross the bridge to relaxation
be one of the lucky ones
down the shore has never been so upscale
· Achristavest Properties: Port Pelham