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This Is Not Good for the Neighborhood!

"We can't have this, we just can't. Northern Liberties is a hip, young hotspot, yes, but breast-offering and breast-holding and then documentation of said consensual fondling right there at the Piazza? It's just not the image we want to project. We understand that sports fans and baseball players get a little rowdy now and then, but why couldn't Pat Burrell stay at the oldest journalists' club in the country, the Pen & Pencil, and defile its image? Why did he have to come to the Piazza? He's not welcome back, that's for sure."—Sincerely, The Upstanding Citizens' Club of Northern Liberties [Crossing Broad]