"Hello, everyone. I'm Dave, and this photo is of me in what they call the living room. This room is very spacious, as you can see. The couch is spacious too, don't you think? It could definitely fit two humans and a Dave."
"This is one of the bathrooms. I don't know how it is for humans, but I can tell you it serves no purpose for a Dave. There used to be a toy in there that you could spin and all this white stuff would come out. But now they keep the white stuff so high that I can't reach it. What's the point?"
"Here is the bedroom. And there I am again! You'll notice I have Mr. McGillicuddy with me, which is because it gets very lonely—and cold! So cold!—down on the floor at night. That's where I sleep because, like the couch, the bed is too small for two humans and a Dave. Do you think that's true? I bet you don't."
"Something very bad happened in this laundry room when I was a puppy. The smallest human had another human with him and they opened that big machine that you see in the photo. And then they grabbed me and placed me on the machine and it was moving and I wasn't and it threw me into something hard and it hurt. The small humans did it again and again and made loud noises of joy. It was pretty much the suckiest day of my life. I don't know if my humans mentioned it, but the machine comes with the house."
· Listing: 310 Hampton Road, King of Prussia [Owner.com]