A tipster informed us that apartments in the embattled Goldtex building are finally up for grabs, on Craigslist. Photos show sleek steel appliances, gorgeous views, and an oddly cramped kitchen in a hallway (broker babble explains that it's ergonomic. Sure.) The ads list move-in dates as early as May 1st and invites potential residents to tour.The apartments range in price from $1395-$3295 and have one, two, and three bedrooms. However, the real highlight of these listings is the ad copy, evidently written by a frat boy. If you look carefully at the photos, you will see that one of them has subtly tucked a poster reading "We Have Had Sex In This Room" behind a table. But that's not the only sophisticated gimmick offered by these listings.
The listings offer two different visions of what it would be like to live in the Goldtex Building. On the one hand, you have the listing for the urban young lady of taste: the title reads, "You know you're more of a Marie than a Hannah. . ." in a mispelled nod to Girls characters Marnie and Hannah. The rest of the ad copy in the Girls ads for girls is fairly standard.
However, for the boys, it's all panty-dropping and perving on college co-eds. Titles include:
"Call This Home! Girls Will Be Coming Back For Seconds. . ."
"WET DREAM? Make it Come True With This Brand New Swanky Loft Apt"
"Get set up in your new spot before all the College girls go home for t [Ed Note: tea? the summer?]"
"ROOFTOP AMENITIES WILL ALWAYS GET IT UP, EVEN WHEN YOU CAN'T"
And of course:
"Class act and nothing less!"
· Embattled Construction Project, Goldtex, Starting Tours [Curbed Philly]