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Staging as Performance Art: South Philly Piece Asks $445K

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The decor of this South Philly home is an inspiration to anyone who has ever dared to dream bigger, bolder, or creepy doll-ier: no bold detail is left undone and no tassle is left unhung. Observe the French inspired boudoir, complete with faux-gilded furniture and a portrait of an unnamed old-timey lady on the wall! Ponder the meta-question posed by the pool table cover which itself is covered in pool balls. Where does reality end and representation begin? Does anything truly have an essence? Why is there an entire room full of creepy dolls?

The interior decorator's aggressive approach to ornamentation is not the only character in this listing. As the viewer moves from photos of the exterior to the interior, they are greeted by an elder relative, his arms stretched wide in the universal gesture for "Get up? How come I have to get up?"

Likewise, a black cat draws our attention to crucial design features: he leans into the sunny bay window, marches across the pool table, and fixates upon the stuffed mallard immortalized in mid-flight, perhaps fleeing from the lime green pleather wall booth below. The walls are decorated with giant portraits of scantily clad women and boxing heroes.

Upstairs, a bedroom is already occupied. Thirteen dolls, (an appropriate seeming number, no?), icily meet the spectator's gaze with their own.

This house is an exercise in saying yes. Should we hang that chandelier there? Is there a legitimate justification for installing dressing room lights in the bathroom? Is that really a....?

The answer is always yes.

House Vitals:
Size: 3 bedrooms, 2.5 baths, 1649 sqft
Amenities: Basement bar, with furniture included (yes really,) front porch guarded by white-washed lions & statues, a tassled purple awning, small yard, terrace.
Asking Price: $445,000
· 1322 Tasker [Trulia]

UPDATE: This house was already covered by Curbed in days of yore, (okay, about eight months ago,) when the ask was a whopping $570K. Passyunk Post also did a feature.