We can't be the only ones who take long weekend drives past those massive suburban manses in Philly's western suburbs to scope out the ideal suburban fortress for when the Zombie Apocalypse comes. Maybe we watch too much television. But there's apparently actually something to our logic. We just aren't going far enough west. "the best place in the U.S. to escape from hypothetical brain feeders, according to a new simulation from real-life Cornell University researchers that they will present later this week, is the Northern Rockies."
You can play the simulation yourself, here. When we placed Zombie Zero right smack dab in the City of Brotherly love, you can see the hoards of un-dead swarming more quickly to the North, right towards the Big Apple, and simultaneously taking their sweet old time heading down south. And it's not because hipsters. It's because science. The Cornell simulation draws on U.S. Census data and depends on the "SIR model, an epidemiological model sometimes used to predict the spread of real-life infectious diseases like measles and rubella."
So remember, children, when the apocalypse comes, stay away from the big city, and head to the hills.