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The Sexy, Scary World of Craigslist Apartment Listings

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Welcome to another edition of It Came From Craigslist, where we scour Philly's rental listings to get a taste of current housing offerings, and then pop out a subset whose listing photos or descriptions really go above and beyond. Everybody knows that sex sells. But on Craigslist, the outright frightening apparently does, too.

↑ For $1,350, you can rent this "LARGE 3 Bedroom House w Full Basement." Also maybe get murdered? Showing at 4:30 PM.

↑ "You're gonna have to arm-wrestle me to get to the cutting board, you know." For $1,795 you can "get your place in the sky" in this studio apartment on north 12th street.

↑ What is this dead thing hanging off the bed?! $2,115 rents you two bedrooms on City Avenue. But will we find Jon Snow hiding in the closet? Say yes.

↑ In a perplexing attempt at "sexy" that instead lands definitively on "scary," this inquisitive toilet wants to know your whereabouts last night. You got some explaining to do.

↑ Everyone knows trampolines are giant bouncy disks of death. Does this one come with this three-bedroom rental? What's going to happen? We can't watch.

↑ For $600, you can rent this "Quaint Efficiency Studio!!!" Just. Everyone knows that "quaint" really means "get ready to sleep with your feet in the stove."

↑ Please tell us that no faux-zebras were harmed in the making of this photo. This efficiency apartment in East Falls includes all utilities.

↑ Oh, there are no eggs in Mystery Man's pan? Would you like there to be? $1,875 rents you two bedrooms on Lincoln Drive.

That chick on the wall is going to climb out of that painting Ring-style in three, two...

↑ "We Do ALL The Work For YOU. . . Just Click To See!" Who does? All these people? Do they ever leave?!

↑ The actual size of the kitchen in this one bedroom near Temple is 500 pixels across.

$875 for 300 square feet in Society Hill. Also? This could be any one of our Dads.

↑ This handsome fella keeping a North Philly rehab warm is too sexy for his shirt.

↑ "Happy Birthday, Tad!" Make it one to remember in this one bedroom in the Loft District.